I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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