okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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