Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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