This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
