Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize