Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
