Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize