there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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