so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
