Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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