Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
