It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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