I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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