Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
