Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
