At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize