So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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