He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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