butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
