Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
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We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
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That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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