I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
