Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize