oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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