And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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