you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
