My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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