During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo