you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades