thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize