1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize