Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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