I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
