wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize