Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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