Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
accomplished twins. life is a go
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
