you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize