well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
