Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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