btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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