In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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