Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
