Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize