I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize