do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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