he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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