I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
