So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize