You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
