Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
