Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Never joke about your clitoris.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize