please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dating After Heartbreak
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
She needs sedatives and a leash
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET