You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.