okay pat passed out under dana's car
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?