This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight