Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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