Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
