census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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