Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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