it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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