My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize