So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
