Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small

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  (203): you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small http://tfl.nu/4mz5
  Replies (138) Good night (802) Bad night (4191)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall

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  (586): just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall http://tfl.nu/up3n
  Replies (32) Good night (5413) Bad night (682)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog

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  (440): I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog http://tfl.nu/h88l
  Replies (23) Good night (763) Bad night (4133)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.

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  (314): no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive. http://tfl.nu/qwvv
  Replies (19) Good night (6913) Bad night (715)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  where are my pants?

  (1-219): View more from Indiana

  you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm

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  (219): where are my pants? (1-219): you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm http://tfl.nu/h936
  Replies (14) Good night (4906) Bad night (735)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper

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  (225): i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper http://tfl.nu/01yr
  Replies (16) Good night (4048) Bad night (1557)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.

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  (402): You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes. http://tfl.nu/0q3l
  Replies (18) Good night (6836) Bad night (1082)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.

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  (217): dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws. http://tfl.nu/yoz5
  Replies (5) Good night (1154) Bad night (1380)
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  (415): View more from California

  We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.

  (916): View more from California

  Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.

  (415): View more from California

  HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.

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  (415): We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002. (916): Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening. (415): HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone. http://tfl.nu/fe9v
  Replies (15) Good night (1848) Bad night (753)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.

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  (732): I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster. http://tfl.nu/5e26
  Replies (14) Good night (2336) Bad night (638)
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  (607): View more from New York

  The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"

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  (607): The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??" http://tfl.nu/clw8
  Replies (4) Good night (1526) Bad night (455)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  wanna come over? I have movies.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  sure, what movies

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  porn or disney, your choice

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  (717): wanna come over? I have movies. (814): sure, what movies (717): porn or disney, your choice http://tfl.nu/qsvh
  Replies (4) Good night (1153) Bad night (282)
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  (938): View more from

  I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.

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  (938): I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace. http://tfl.nu/4pq2
  Replies (1) Good night (390) Bad night (339)
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  (714): View more from California

  He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.

  (1-714): View more from California

  I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass

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  (714): He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy. (1-714): I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass http://tfl.nu/19re
  Replies (0) Good night (696) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone

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  (603): last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone http://tfl.nu/pux0
  Replies (1) Good night (627) Bad night (228)

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