just tell him i said nine months
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.