Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think my fart just growled at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I think my fart just growled at me. http://tfl.nu/gjsq
  Replies (7) Good night (1082) Bad night (2196)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis. http://tfl.nu/knfk
  Replies (14) Good night (4747) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): My favorite part of our friendship is your tits. http://tfl.nu/3eyr
  Replies (19) Good night (4380) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles. http://tfl.nu/kfaj
  Replies (18) Good night (978) Bad night (3192)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy" http://tfl.nu/zdbd
  Replies (51) Good night (17893) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!

  (623): View more from Arizona

  It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection! (623): It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now... http://tfl.nu/u3ol
  Replies (6) Good night (2501) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is http://tfl.nu/reex
  Replies (19) Good night (1413) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair http://tfl.nu/q3gk
  Replies (6) Good night (710) Bad night (1545)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed. http://tfl.nu/j5xb
  Replies (6) Good night (1445) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another http://tfl.nu/vil6
  Replies (6) Good night (845) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again http://tfl.nu/n6kd
  Replies (29) Good night (1931) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels. http://tfl.nu/it3k
  Replies (2) Good night (699) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/gwk2
  Replies (6) Good night (1300) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater http://tfl.nu/8eoi
  Replies (6) Good night (826) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail" http://tfl.nu/whag
  Replies (3) Good night (475) Bad night (353)

Randomize