Can Purell be used as lube?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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