i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.