yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire