Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.