did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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