i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
